Hogwarts Idol!
by Herm-Own-Ninny879
Summary: Christmas at Hogwarts is normal, right? Guess again! When Hermione introduces the gang to 'American Idol' Things begin to go crazy when the Golden Trio come up with their own singing contest...HOGWARTS IDOL! HG, CCh, RHr
1. A Really Rainy and Snow Christmas Break

**American Idol... HARRY POTTER STYLE!**

By Herm-Own-Ninny879

**Disclaimer: **I own no bit of Harry Potter. Rowling, Bloomsbury, Scholastic, and Warner Bros. own 'em. For disclaimers on the songs, see the review page.

* * *

**The MAIN Characters:**

Harry Potter- The Boy-Who-Lived (Harry + AI another Jesse McCartney)

Ron Weasley- The best friend of the Boy-Who-Lived (Ron + AI another Bo Bice)

Hermione Granger- Ron Weasley's supposed Girlfriend (Mione + AI another Kimberley Locke)

Ginny Weasley- The girl who has a crush on Harry (Ginny + AI another Hilary Duff)

Draco Malfoy- Harry's Arch-Nemesis (Draco + AIanother Clay Aiken)

Professor Snape- the Greasy-Haired Git who calls himself the Potions Master (Snape + AI Simon)

Tonks- the pretty Metamorphmagus who's also an Auror (Tonks + AI Paula)

Gilderoy Lockhart- The pretty-boy git who is an attention-seeker Recently got memory back (Lockhart + AI a stupid Randy wannabe)

Cedric Diggory- the HOTTTTTTIE host of AI... Harry Potter Style! (Cedric + AI Ryan Seacrest)

**The Ships in this Story**

Ron/Hermione

Ginny/Harry

Tonks/Snape

Ginny (cheating on Harry- no wait- trying to get HP jealous)/Draco

**The Story:**

"Heyyyyyy... Ya know what? Let's watch Muggle television!" Harry Potter suggested to the ten remaining students at Hogwarts during winter break.

"I don't wanna watch some mudblood television! What the _heck_ is _television!_" Draco Malfoy hissed.

"It's a box you can watch pictures in, stupid," Hermione Granger scowled at the humanoid ferret.

"Go Hermione!" Ron Weasley cheered. "Woo hoo!"

Everyone stared at him.

"Er... Never mind," he blushed.

"_Muggiest!_" Hermione chanted, and a television appeared in front of the students. Several students have never ever seen a T.V in their whole life, so they looked at it in awe.

Ron picked up the remote. Knowing how to work it (since Harry taught him), he picked it up and flipped the channels.

_Sigh._ Lazy Town. Spongebob Squarepants. Zoey 101. Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide and-

"DORA THE EXPLORER!" Draco squealed with delight. Everyone stared at him. "What? You're looking at me as if I like this Muggle trash!" Everyone shrugged as Ron continued to flip channels.

Survivor. Madagascar (on the movie channel). An interview with J.K Rowling. And FINALLY...

"AMERICAN IDOL!" Hermione squealed with delight. Every person in the room stared at her as if she were a picture by Picasso.

"Whatchamacallit!" Ron yelled.

"Ah-mere-ee-ken Eye-doll!" Hermione pronounced it slowly.

"Oh. Okay. What the heck is it!" Ron yelled again.

"It's a singing contest. Contestants have to face three strange judges, Paula, Simon, and Randy. Paula's the pretty and kind one, Randy's the -what the Americans say- 'Wassup, Dawg!' person, and Simon's the bitter and nasty one. He always makes snide comments!"

"Just like me!" Draco smiled.

"Ah. I've GOT AN IDEA!" Harry exclaimed. "Let's have our own contest!"

"That's a great idea! We just need judges!" Hermione said, and said, "_Accio, judges!" _And you can guess who zoomed in.

Tonks.

Snape.

Lockhart. ("THE HORROR!" Harry yelled)

"Hey, whattarwe doing here!" Tonks exclaimed, looking around.

"This is quite odd," Lockhart laughed feebly.

"Disgusting students," Snape muttered.

"HEY! Whaddaya doing here!" Ron exclaimed, hissing and pointing at Snape, who was muttering incoherently under his breath.

"Hey! You called Judges for your show, and suddenly we came! We'll be your Paula, Simon, and Randy!" Tonks exclaimed happily.

"Yes, _yippee_," Snape said sarcastically.

"Well, this is a delightful time! Autographs, anyone?" Lockhart said merrily.

"No," all the students said automatically.

Lockhart's smile slipped off his pretty-boy face.

"Hey everyone! Who's going to be that hottie Ryan Seacrest!" Hermione squealed. Harry, Draco, Ron, and Cedric Diggory gaped at her.

"He's the host, dumb-nuts!"

All the girls pointed at Cedric. Since there were more girls than boys, the vote was unanimous.

"Cedric! WE LOVE YOU!" The girls exclaimed. Hermione and Ginny scowled.

"Well, when are we getting started?" Ron asked. Hermione grinned.

"Now that we've got the host and the three judges, let's create the stage!" With a flick of her wand, a blue stage appeared, and Hermione looked at it proudly.

"MAKE IT AT THE GREAT HALL!" Harry and Ron yelled. Hermione transported it to the Great Hall, and everyone rushed down to see it.

"Wow!" Parvati Patil piped up. There was a microphone set right in the middle, and there was a heightened table for the judges to sit at. Tonks, Snape, and Lockhart took their seats, and Cedric took stage.

"Now everyone, run to the songbook and choose a song!" Hermione said, and a stampede erupted to get to the songbook.

"What do you think of _4-Ever?_" Ginny suggested.

"That song isn't too good for you," Harry grinned. "For me, how's 'bout _Because you Live_?"

"Perfect, Harry," Ginny looked at him in awe.

"Hey, HP! LOOK AT THIS ONE! It's entitled _Almost _by Bowling for Soup!" Ron laughed. "What a weird name!"

"I heard that song before; it's great!" Hermione spoke. As Ron smiled a handsome smile, Hermione blushed.

"I've got one! _Beat of my Heart!_" Ginny squealed.

"PERFECTO!" Harry exclaimed, and gave her a hug. As they parted, they blushed furiously.

"Everyone ready?" Hermione called.

"YES! IT'S TIME FOR... HOGWARTS IDOL!" Cedric boomed into the microphone. All the contestants nearly strangled each other to get backstage.

"Time to create the aura!" Hermione whispered. "_Accio, Audience!"_ A group of people burst into the Hall and piled into the seats, carrying signs that said things like, 'I LOVE YOU HARRY!' or 'YOU'RE HOT, RON!' or 'GO GINNY!' or 'HERMIONE BEATS ALL!' Hermione blushed at the signs. She went backstage and got dressed in her dressing room.

Minutes later...

"WELCOME TO... HOGWARTS IDOL!" Cedric exclaimed, making the audience cheer like mad. "Let me introduce our judges... SEVERUS SNAPE!"

"BOOO! HISS!" the crowd raved.

"NEXT UP, THE VIVACIOUS TONKS!"

"YYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAHHHHH!"

"AND FINALLY... GILDEROY LOCKHART!"

complete silence

"Alright. You all know the dealio! Several Hogwarts students have signed up to be a part of Hogwarts Idol. First up is... RONALD WEASLEY FROM GRYFFINDOR!"

Ron nervously trooped up on the stage, took the microphone, and the music played...

_I almost got drunk at school at 14  
Where I almost made out with the homecoming queen  
Who almost went on to be miss Texas  
But lost to a girl who sews her own dresses  
__I almost dropped out to move to LA  
Where I was almost famous for almost a day  
And I almost had you  
But I guess that doesn't cut it  
Almost loved you  
I almost wished u would've loved me too  
I almost worked atgrocery store  
Where I almost did 5 years of sweeping the floor  
__Cuz I almost got fired because of my shame  
__Cuz a guy ran off with my video game  
That I almost got hooked on cuz you ran away  
And I wish I woulda had the nerve to ask you to stay  
And I almost had you  
But I guess that doesn't cut it  
Almost had you  
And I didn't even know it  
You kept me guessing and now I guess that  
I spent my time missing you  
I almost wish you would've loved me too  
Here I go thinking about all the things I could've done  
I'm gonna need a forklift cuz all the baggage weighs a ton  
I know we've had our problems I can't remember one  
I almost forgot to say something else  
And if I cant fit it in I'll keep it all to myself  
I almost wrote a song about you today  
But I tore it all open and I threw it away  
And I almost had you  
But I guess that doesn't cut it  
Almost had you  
And I didn't even know it  
You kept me guessing and now I guess that  
I spent my time missing you  
And I almost had you  
I almost wish you would've loved me too _(Ron looked backstage at Hermione, and the Daily Prophet Video camera caught her on screen...)

Ron finished with a bang. Everybody in the crowd cheered and stomped. The girls waving signs saying 'You're Hot, RON!' beamed and stood up, nearly strangling each other to climb up on the stage and snog him, but luckily, security guards (Crabbe & Goyle) stopped the crowd. Ron ran backstage, and...

You'll find out later.

"WOW! That was great Ron! That was Ronald Weasley singing _Almost _by Bowling for soup!" Cedric boomed happily. He was laughing. Suddenly, he got kind of serious... "UP NEXT IS... GINNY WEASLEY!"

All the boys cheered waving their signs saying 'GINNY! YOU'RE MINE!' Ginny laughed as she trooped on stage.

_To the beat of my  
To the beat of my  
To the beat of my heart  
I'm thinking about,  
Letting it out,  
I wanna give in,  
I wanna go out,  
But looking around,  
I finally found,  
The rhythm of love,  
The feeling of sound,  
It's making a change,  
The feeling is strange,  
Its coming right back,  
right back in my range,  
Not worried about,  
anything else,  
I'm waking up,  
To the beat of my,  
To the beat of my,  
To the beat of my heart,  
The beat of my heart,  
The beat of my heart,  
The beat of my heart,  
It tears us apart,  
The beat of my heart,  
The beat of my heart,  
The beat of my heart,  
Now I'm back to the start,  
To the beat of my,  
To the beat of my,  
To the beat of my heart,  
I'm up from my down,  
I turn it around,  
But making it back,  
I'm not gonna drown,  
I'm taking a stance,  
I won't miss a chance,  
I want you to see,  
I'm not scared to dance,  
The way that you feel,  
Could never be real,  
I want you know I finished the deal,  
So I'm sayin to you,  
I'll always be true,  
To the rhythm inside,  
To the beat of my,  
To the beat of my,  
To the beat of my heart,  
The beat of my heart,  
The beat of my heart,  
The beat of my heart,  
It tears us apart,  
The beat of my heart,  
The beat of my heart,  
The beat of my heart,  
Now I'm back to the start,  
To the beat of my,  
To the beat of my,  
To the beat of my heart,  
Away Away,  
Away Away,  
Away Away,  
Away Away,  
Away Away,  
Away Away,  
To the beat of my,  
To the beat of my heart,  
Away Away,  
Away Away,  
To the beat of my,  
To the beat of my heart,  
The beat of my heart,  
The beat of my heart,  
The beat of my heart,  
It tears us apart,  
The beat of my heart,  
The beat of my heart,  
The beat of my heart,  
Now I'm back to the start  
To the beat of my heart!__  
_

"GINNY! GINNY! GINNY!" The crowd cheered. The guys kept on wolf-whistling at her, screaming they loved her. Ginny grinned broadly, and ran to Harry's arms.

"You did great, Ginny!" Harry laughed happily.

"Lurves you, Harry!" Ginny said, and kissed him on the cheek.

Cedric came back on stage and laughed hard. He'd never ever heard great singers. He picked up his microphone, laughed again, pointed up at the screen at the pictures of the people who had just sung. "THAT, my friends, was GINNY WEASLEY!" Cedric exclaimed. The crowd howled even more. "Okay, up next is one of my good friends, the fourth champion, HARRY POTTER!"

Harry ran onstage, and tripped on Cedric's microphone wire, which made everyone howl with laughter. He blushed and smiled, and got up. He walked to the microphone, and began to sing.

_Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart_

_It's the end of the world in my mind _

_Then your voice pulls me back _

_Like a wake-up call_

_I've been looking for the answer_

_Somewhere_

_I couldn't see that it was right there_

_But now I know, what I didn't know_

_Because you live and breathe because you make me believe in myself_

_When nobody else can help _

_Because you live girl _("He's looking at me!" Ginny squealed, nearly fainting)

_My world..._

_Has twice as many stars in the sky_

_It's alright I survived I'm alive again_

'_cause of you made it through every storm_

_What is life, what's the use?_

_If you're killing time_

_I'm so glad I found an angel_

_Someone..._

_Who was there when all my hopes fell _

_I wanna fly looking in your eyes_

_Because you live and breathe because you make me believe in myself _

_When nobody else could help_

_Because you live girl _

_My world..._

_Has twice as many stars in the sky_

_Because you live... I live _

_Because you live, there's a reason why_

_I carry on when I lose the fight _

_I want to give what you've given me_

_Always..._

_Because you live and breathe_

_Because you make me believe in myself_

_When nobody else can help _

_Because you live girl_

_My world..._

_Has twice as many stars in the sky_

_Because you live and breathe_

_Because you make me believe in myself _

_When nobody else could help_

_Because you live girl_

_My world..._

_Has everything I need to survive_

_Because you live... I live I live _

Harry was the best singer in the whole competition so far that day. The spectators, along with the judges (excluding Snape) and Cedric applauded enthusiastically until their hands were sore, and their voices were hoarse. "THAT, MY FRIENDS, WAS THE BOY WHO LIVED HIMSELF... HARRY POTTER!" Cedric started to dance like mad.

A/N: Hey peoples! Pleez review... Tell me what I need to make better! I LOVE DAN RADCLIFFE! (and Robert Pattinson!)

Lurves, Herm-Own-Ninny879


	2. Ced and the Crew

_chapter two..._ Ced and the crew

As Harry walked off the stage feeling very flustered, Cho walked on to applause from almost half the crowd- which was composed of boys.

"WASSUP HOGWARTS!" Cho exclaimed, making Cedric look at her with a vague smile on his face as if she were entrancing him like a Veela. The music began to play...

_I'm having the day from (word censored)_

_It was all going so well_

_Before you came_

_And you told me you needed space_

_With a kiss on the side my face_

_Not again_

_And not to mention_

_The tears, the shame_

_I should have kicked your_

_(word censored)instead_

_I need intervention_

_Attetion to stop this itching to scream_

_Cause baby_

_Everything is left up straight from the heart_

_Tell what do you do when it all falls apart_

_Gotta pick myself up, where do I start_

_Cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart_

_No, ooh_

_Don't know where I parked my car_

_Don't know who my real friends are_

_Anymore_

_I put my faith in you_

_What a stupid thing to do_

_When it rains it pours_

_And not to mention_

_I drank too much_

_I'm feeling hungover_

_Out of touch_

_I need intervention_

_Attention to stop this itching to scream_

_Cause baby_

_Everything is left up straight from the heart_

_Tell what do you do when it all falls apart_

_Gotta pick myself up where do I start_

_Cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart_

_No, ooh_

_Can't it be easier_

_Can I just change my life_

_Cause it just seems to go bad everytime_

_With no demading_

_No other ending_

_I'm sick of it_

_Everything is left up straight from the heart_

_Tell what do you do when it all falls apart_

_Gotta pick myself up, where do I start_

_Cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart_

_No, ooh_

_Everything is left up straight from the heart_

_Tell what do you do when it all falls apart_

_Gotta keep myself up, where do I start_

_Cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart_

_No, ooh_

_When it all falls apart_

_No, ooh_

_When it all falls apart_

_No, ohh_

_Everything is left up straight from the heart_

_Tell what do you do when it all falls apart_

_Gotta pick myself up, where do I start..._

The boys screamed and shouted and cheered and stomped, wolf-whistling at Cho. She seemed to have an affect on them, just like Fleur Delacour, who was the hairstylist backstage.

"Thank you! I LURVE you all!" Cho waved, and skipped merrily off stage. Cedric seemed vague and disturbed as he walked back up to his position. He even tripped on the wire. What was Cho Chang doing to the people of the male species!

"Uuuup next ISSSSSSS... HERMIONE GRANGER!" Hermione walked nervously and slowly to her microphone.

_Come Mr. DJ song pon de replay _

_Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up _

_All the gyal pon the dancefloor wantin some more what _

_Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up _

_it goes 1 by 1 even 2 by 2 _

_everybody on the floor let me show you how we do _

_lets go dip it low then you bring it up slow _

_wind it up 1 time wind it back once more _

_Run, Run, Run, Run _

_Everybody move run _

_Lemme see you move and _

_Rock it til the grooves done _

_Shake it til the moon becomes the sun (Sun) _

_Everybody in the club give me a run (Run) _

_If you ready to move say it (Yeah Yeah) _

_One time for your mind say it (Yeah Yeah) _

_Well i'm ready for ya _

_Come let me show ya _

_You want to groove im'a show you how to move _

_Come come _

_Come Mr. DJ song pon de replay _

_Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up _

_All the gyal pon the dancefloor wantin some more what _

_Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up _

_Hey Mr. _

_Please Mr. DJ_

_Tell me if you hear me _

_Turn the music up _

_It goes 1 by 1 even 2 by 2 _

_Everybody in the club gon be rockin when i'm through _

_Let the bass from the speakers run through ya sneakers _

_Move both ya feet and run to the beat _

_Run, Run, Run, Run _

_Everybody move run _

_Lemme see you move and _

_Rock it til the grooves done _

_Shake it til the moon becomes the sun (Sun) _

_Everybody in the club give me a run (Run) _

_If you ready to move say it (Yeah Yeah) _

_One time for your mind say it (Yeah Yeah) _

_Well i'm ready for ya _

_Come let me show ya _

_You want to groove im'a show you how to move _

_Come come _

_Come Mr. DJ song pon de replay _

_Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up _

_All the gyal pon the dancefloor wantin some more what _

_Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up _

_Hey Mr. _

_Please Mr. DJ_

_Tell me if you hear me _

_Turn the music up_

_Okay everybody get down if you feel me_

_Put your hands up to the ceiling_

_Come Mr. DJ song pon de replay _

_Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up _

_All the gyal pon the dancefloor wantin some more what _

_Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up_

She was dancing spectacularly, and stroke a pose at the end, which made the audience wild. Meanwhile, backstage, Ron was drooling and gaping.

"Ron, you're leaking..." Harry smirked.

"Eh? What? Oh... OOPS!" Ron said immediately. He wiped himself up with his wand, and buried his blushing face in his hands. Hermione squealed delightedly, and ran backstage, grabbing Ginny's hands, and the two excited girls jumped up and down happily, screaming like mad.

Cedric came back onstage, and was like, _'wow!'_. He picked up the mic, and shouted,

"YOU'VE SEEN HARRY, RON, CHO, aaand... GINNY! NOW IT'S TIME TO SEE OUR FAVORITE FERRET... ("Hey!" Draco yelled. "I resent that!") DRACO MALFOY!" Draco, in his special outfit of robes of black satin, trooped up pompously on the stage, grabbed his mic, and sang his heart out...

_Just charge it to my account  
I hope I haven't gone over my limit  
With interest rates so swift  
No need to scream and shout,  
No doubt if women are from Venus now  
I'll get to them somehow...  
All I wanna do is please you  
Please myself by living my life too  
And all the stupid things I do  
Have absolutely no reflection on How I feel about you  
How I feel about  
All the stupid things I do have absolutely no reflection on  
How I feel about you  
How I feel about you yeah _

Oh yes I recall  
Skipping on breakfast to play basketball  
Then feeling two feet small  
Sometimes you read like William Shakes  
Your scent is sweet like Betty Crooker bakes  
I'd love to have your cake and eat it to  
All I wanna do is please you  
Please myself by living my life too

All the girls in the audience swooned with delight and envy as Pansy Parkin(_beep) _(WAIT-A-SEC... Pansy Parkin_son!_ ERROR! ERROR!) walked like a model up to Draco and started to snog him as they walked offstage.

Cedric came back on, and... "THAT, EVERYONE WAS THE AMAZING BOUNCING FERRET!" to laughs from the audience.

"Okay, up next is a great singer by the name of... _Parvati Patil!" _The audience clapped politely as Parvati walked up to Cedric and kissed him on the cheek. She took her place and her mic, and sang...

_What if I told you it was all meant to be? _

_Would you believe me? Would you agree? _

_It's almost that feeling that we've met before _

_So tell me that you don't think I'm crazy _

_When I tell you love is here and now _

_A moment like this _

_Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this _

_Some people search forever for that one special kiss _

_Oh, I can't believe it's happening to me _

_Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this _

_Everything changes, but beauty remains _

_Something so tender, I can't explain _

_Well I may be dreaming, but still lie awake _

_Can we make this dream last forever? _

_And I'll cherish all the love we share _

_For a moment like this _

_Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this _

_Some people search forever for that one special kiss _

_Oh, I can't believe it's happening to me _

_Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this _

_Could this be the greatest love of all? _

_I want to know that you will catch me when I fall _

_So let me tell you this... _

_Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this _

_Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this _

_Some people search forever for that one special kiss _

_Oh, I can't believe it's happening to me _

_Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this._

The audience clapped politely once more, and a crestfallen Parvati walked off silently. Cedric, who shrugged, said, "Okay. NEXT UP IS... FRED AND GEORGE WEASLEY!" "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW!" the audience screamed as the twins stride up to the 'phones and sang:

_Hey I've been watching you  
Every little thing you do  
Every time I see you dance  
In my homeroom class, makes my heart beat fast  
I've tried to page you twice  
But I see you roll your eyes  
Wish I could make it real  
But your lips are sealed, that ain't no big deal  
'Cause I know you really want me  
I hear your friends talk about me  
So why you tryin'to do without me  
When you got me  
Where you want me  
(Hey Juliet)  
I think you're fine  
You really blow my mind  
Maybe someday, you and me can run away  
I just want you to know  
I wanna be your Romeo  
Hey Juliet  
Girl you got me on my knees  
Beggin' please, baby please  
Got my best DJ on the radiowaves saying  
Hey Juliet, why do you do him this way  
Too far to turn around  
So I'm gonna stand my ground  
Gimme just a little bit of hope  
With a smile or a glance, gimme one more chance  
'Cause I know you really want me  
I hear your friends talk about me  
So why you tryin' to do without me  
When you got me  
Where you want me  
Hey Juliet  
I think you're fine  
You really blow my mind  
Maybe someday, you and me can run away  
I just want you to know  
I wanna be your Romeo  
Hey Juliet  
I know you really wan't me  
I hear your friends talk about me  
So why you tryin' to do without me  
When you got me  
Where you want me  
You don't have to say forever_

_For us to hang together  
So hear me when I say  
Hey Juliet  
Hey Juliet  
I think you're fine  
You really blow my mind  
Maybe someday, you and me can run away  
I just wan't you to know  
I wanna be your Romeo  
Hey Juliet  
Hey Juliet  
I think you're fine  
You really blow my mind  
Maybe someday, you and me can run away  
I just want you to know  
I wanna be your Romeo  
Hey Juliet  
_

The twins bowed, and set off an array of Filibuster's Fireworks, which spelled the words, POO. Everyone laughed and ducked as the sparks set off everywhere. The twins laughed hysterically, and walked off. Cedric, who was beaming at such great talent, walked back on and grinned once more, his 'hottie' grin. "Now, everyone, it's MY TURN!" Cedric boomed. The girls, especially his crew screamed to the top of their lungs, cheering, "CEDRIC! CEDRIC! CEDRIC! CEDRIC!"

Cedric went up on stage aaaaannnnndddd...


	3. Changing the Rules

CHAPTER THREE: Changing the Rules

**A/N: **This is a Behind-The Scenes Special... And the Rules Are Completely Changed... (OOPS. I forgot: **Disclaimer: **I don't own American Idol. Fox does. I don't own Harry Potter. J.K does.) Also, there are wacky tacky commercials in this chappie.

Okay, I changed the ships to this story, but Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione still remains:

**Luna/Neville**

**Draco/Pansy**

**Cedric/Cho**

**P.S**: There may not be any singing in this Chapter... maybe ze next!

Mione

* * *

As Cedric started to sing, Professor McGonagall ran frantically onto the stage, waving her arms in the air. 

"STOP! STOP!" she yelled. Cedric immediately put down the mic.

"What seems to be the problem, Professor?" Cedric yelled through the boos of the angry girls in the audience.

"Hogwarts is going to be sued a million Galleons! A MILLION, DIGGORY!" McGonagall yelled.

"W-why!" Cedric exclaimed; startled at the fact.

"All those songs you have been singing are copyright! COPYRIGHT, DIGGORY!" the professor barked.

"AARGH! Wait.. .Professor, if you tell the audience that we're going to a commercial break, I've got to tell the contestants something!" and with that, hedisapparated backstage before McGonagall could say anything.

"Ah... Diggory? Mr. Diggory, I need help! CEDRIC! Oh my God, how am I supposed to handle this crowd? Why did he disapparate- HOLD IT... YOU CAN'T APPARATE OR DISAPPARATE INSIDE THE GROUNDS!"

Cedric apparated back to the barking mad woman.

"Hello, Professor. I forgot to tell you... I can disapparate, because in Herm-Own-Ninny's stories, you can do ANYTHING!" and with a crack, he was gone. McGonagall looked warily at the crowd, and muttered _sonorus._ Her voice was magnified to a million.

"ATTENTION! WE ARE GOING TO A COMMERCIAL BREAK! IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP, THERE ARE VERY, VERY SEVERE PUNISHMENTS WAITING FOR YOU ALL! DO YOU CATCH MY DRIFT?" she boomed.

"Y-yes, Professor..." the students whispered. At the judges table, Lockhart fainted in shock, Tonks looked on the verge of tears, and Snape, well... he said, "I want my mommy!"

McGonagall disapparated, and now it's time for the bloody commercial break.

_Commercial_

(Mundungus Fletcher steps in holding a stolen golden cauldron)

"If you're a crook like me, you'll need some essentials! Okay, you people, first, you need a sly and catchy name, like my hot and fantastic name, Mundungus Fletcher!"

(Harry and Ron are backstage. "Rubbish. His name is RUBBISH. Actually, literally, some rubbish is mentioned in his name: Mun**dung**us! Heehehehehehhhhheee!" Harry whispered to Ron, who let out a shrill, but quiet, laugh.)

"Hey! Shut up back there!" (Harry and Ron are instantly quiet)

"Anyways, two, you need disguises, which my new and latest novel, _Crookery: An Essential Guide for Hot People like Me! _You can use disguises like this Inferius outfit, a Death Eater, Harry Potter-"

"HEY!" (Harry yells backstage)

"Er... Going on, thirdly, (if that is a word), you must have the agility of a bird. I, on the other hand, have the agility of a swift African Cheetah!"

(Harry: "Yeah, right...")

(Ron: "Dung has the agility of a tortoise..." the two boys snigger)

"OI! I said, shad-ap back there! Anyway... To learn more about being a crook, don't forget to buy my new book, _Crookery: An Essential Guide for Hot People Like Me!_ and if you all call in the next half-hour, you can recieve a free crook wardrobe featuring outfits of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, The Death Eaters, Inferi, Cornelius Fudge, Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, Simon Cowell, William Hung, and... Harry Potter!"

(Harry: "You're dead, DUNG!"

"Uh-oh..."

(Harry runs after Mundungus with a broom and Hermione's _Hogwarts, A History,_ and Ron follows with a beater's bat)

_End Commercial_

* * *

_Meanwhile, backstage..._

"Ced, why aren't you singing?" Harry exclaimed when Cedric panted into the lounge where the contestants stayed.

"RACC! THE RACC!" Cedric screamed.

"_GASP!_ The **R**ules **A**re **C**ompletely** C**hanged! It's HORRIBLE! But, I've got an Idea. Since you all can't sing the songs like you just had like, several minutes or hours ago, I have an idea."

"We can't sing the songs we planned to sing? My poor little heart!" Neville squeaked and fainted.

"Neville?" Luna asked.

"Oh, well, just leave him there. We have more important things to discuss. Okay, these are the new rules:

1. You have to sing an altered song of your choice.

2. It can't have copied lyrics.

and 3, You may sing a duet!"

Everyone seemed pleased with Ced's new rules.

"Is everyone ok with that? Now you have to get writing. I'm going to distract the crowd with some stupid jokes to pass the time!" and with that, Cedric ran out.

_On the Stage:_

"Okay, people, you will have to wait several more minutes until we can perform. In the couple of minutes, I'm going to tell you some jokes!"

"BOO!"

"I know you all are very happy, me, the hottie, will tell you jokes, but here it goes! How about a blonde joke?"

"BOO!"

"Once, there was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all went into a Psychic's shop. The psychic told them to sit down, and then, he gave the brunette a mirror. He said, 'If you tell the truth, your wildest dreams will come true. If you tell a lie, you will be thrust into oblivion.' The brunette said, 'I'm beautiful,' and she got her wish of a husband and left the shop. The psychic gave the redhead the mirror, and she said, 'I'm really, really smart,' and she got her wish of being a millionare and left the shop. The blonde was given the mirror, and said, 'I think...' and she disappeared into oblivion!"

"BOO! HISS! YOU SUCK!" and everyone pointed their wands at Cedric and fired cursed tomatoes at him, and Ced ran off, squealing like mad backstage.

* * *

_Later... Everyone has their songs ready!_

"Er... Now, you know, we had difficulties... So here she is, GINNY WEASLEY!" Cedric exclaimed.


	4. It's Catfights and Commercials!

_Chapter Four:_ The Contestants get Nutty with Song Lyrics (And Cho goes MAD! hehehehe) 

**A/N: **Waz-up my peeps? I just wanna say hi to my friends malfoyandme4evah, and love-obsessed-writer, and all my all my BEASTLY friends! This Chappie might be ze longgiesst!

* * *

Ginny trooped on stage, got her microphone and told the audience what her song was called. "This baby's called, _I wanna Beat Cho!_" 

Cho, who was backstage and staring at Harry longingly, looked at Ginny and said, "HEY!"

_Dear Harry, _

_Is that Cho Chang, the girl you used to date? _

_Why's she hanging around here what's her deal? _

_Doesn't she know that it's too late? _

_That the Quidditch game's over and the Firebolt's for me _

_Why don't you tell Cho what's been goin on _

_'Cuz she seems to be crying instead of just leaving _

_And if you don't have the spell to tell her 'bout it _

_Then just step aside and let me lay it on the line _

_'Cuz you're mine _

_And tonight you revolve around ME (not her!) _

_And you're mine _

_And this time, I'm gonna sing a little louder _

_Don't wanna be like every other witch in the planet _

_Like every other Romilda Vane who wants you _

_'Cuz when I see you _

_My cauldron of a heart burns _

_And then I realize _

_I wanna beat Cho _

_I wanna beat Cho _

_You look at Cho and I just scream _

_It's like doomsday arriving in my mind _

_And I can't believe this conspiracy _

_I used to be a witch who would let a wizard breathe _

_But you're mine _

_And tonight, you don't revolve around Cho _

_You're NOT HERS _

_And this time, I'm gonna scream a little louder _

_Don't wanna be like every other witch in the planet _

_Like every other Romilda Vane who wants you _

_'Cuz when I see you _

_My cauldron of a heart burns _

_And then I realize _

_I wanna beat Cho _

_I wanna beat Cho _

_Don't wanna be like every witch _

_Who's tried to (claw all the way to) get you _

_I wanna be the one who's not sorry that she kissed you _

_I wanna beat Cho _

_I wanna beat Cho _

_HEY! Don't wanna be like every other witch in the world _

_Like every Romilda that wants you _

_'Cuz when I see you _

_My cauldron of a heart burns _

_And then I realize _

_I wanna beat Cho! _

_Don't wanna be like every other Romilda _

_Like every other witch that wants you _

_'Cuz when I see you _

_My cauldron burns _

_And then I realize _

_I wanna beat Cho! _

_Every other witch in the world _

_Like every other Romilda who wants you _

_'Cuz when I see you_

_my cauldron of a heart starts to burn _

_And then I realize _

_I wanna beat Cho _

_Kiss me Harry! All My Lurves, Ginny _

"WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT!" Cho yelled as the crowd applauded fiercely, with occasional screams and laughter and cheers. Cho strode on stage and Ginny laughed at her. "You filthy fifth year!"

"Filthy seventh year," Ginny retorted.

"I hate you. HARRY AND CEDRIC ARE ALL MINE! MINE, I TELL YOU!" Cho delivered a punch to Ginny's face. Ginny's nose broke.

"YOU JERK!" And Ginny kicked Cho hard in theshins.

"IDJIT!" Cho kicked Gin in the... well, you don't wanna know.

"OWW! I GRRRRRR YOU!" aaaaannnndddd...

(**A/N:** MRRROW! CATFIGHT!)

And the girls grabbed each other and tried to strangle each other. They delivered punches and kicks and head bops at each other until Ministry Aurors and Harry and Cedric parted them. Ginny had a broken neck and nose, and her fiery hair was messed-up, and Cho had a cracked ankle and broken nose. They both looked stoned.

"What what the (word censored... peoplez, this is a K+ story!) was that!" Harry and Cedric yelled.

"I hate Cho," Ginny said simply as she was being helped by mediwizards.

"I hade Ginevra," Cho said simply, pinching her nose.

"Girl obsesser," Ginny muttered.

"What was that, you bag of butober pus?"

"HEY! Don't call me butober pus, you (word censored)!" Ginny yelled.

"SHAD-AP!" Harry yelled, and the girls folded their arms and scowled. "I think it's time for a commercial break..."

"Good idea," Cedric muttered back.

All of a sudden, Ginny and Cho jump on top of Harry and Cedric and started to beat them up.

"MOMMY!"

* * *

_Commerical Break:_

"Ar, do you people love my magical eye, and my stunning clawed leg?" (Moody steps in from the darkness)

(Hermione: Oh-My-God)

"SHUT UP, woman!" (Moody shrieks)

(Hermione: What-eva!)

(Harry: I have never ever heard you back-sass a teacher before...)

(Hermione: Shut up with a capital S)

(Harry: Fine!)

"SHUT UP BACKSTAGE!" (Moody roars)

"So anyways, If you love me, the mystical Moody, buy my new album, which is better than the _Goblet of Fire_ DVD, and worth your ten galleons!" (**A/N: I RESENT THAT!)**

(Harry: HEY! Daniel worked hard on that!)(**A/N:** DAN RADCLIFFE, I LOVE YOU!)

(Hermione: So did Emma!)

(Ron steps inRon: AND RUPERT!)

"Like you all did better in the book." (Moody says sarcastically)

(Harry: CURSE YOU!)

"GRR... Well, If you love my growls and grunts, buy my new album..." (holds up a c.d with his disfigured and grotesque face on the front cover) "_Everyone's Out to Get Me!_"

(Harry: Literally)

(Hermione: Right-o)

(Neville: steps in I'm with you)

"SHUT UP! Grr... It features my platinum hits, _Everyone is out to Get Me,_ _Magical Eye Symphony, Keep Both Buttocks On, _and,_ If you Impersonate Me, I'll Make Sure It's the Last Thing You Do_!"

(Harry and Ron and Hermione and Neville: sniggers Do _what?_)

"HEY! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A K+ STORY!" (Moody growls)

"GRR... So anyways, if you want to buy my platinum-hit C.D, all you need to pay is ten galleons, plus Owl Shipping and Handling, which costs another Ten Galleons!"

(Harry: That's a Rip-Off!)

(Hermione: For once, I agree with Harry!)

"SHUT YOUR MOUTHS! Well, If you call 1-800-MOODY-IS-HOT, you get a free plush doll of me that literally sings _Everyone is Out to Get Me!_"

(The kids snigger)

"And Don't Forget... CONSTANT VIGILANCE! Moody-OUT!"

(Moody chases after the Trio and Neville with a beater's bat)

**End Commercial**

* * *

"Well, after that very disastrous and painful incident... Harry, OUCH!" Cedric yelled. He was wearing a leg and neck cast, and had a black eye, wheras, Harry had a broken arm, neck, and black eye and broken nose.

"Sorry, Ced," Harry whispered.

"Anyway, after that painful incident, we're back with _Hogwarts Idol_. Now up next is Harry Potter!"

(All the girls shriek as loud as they can)

Harry stepped up as Cedric limped away and picked up the mic. "This one's called, _Hey Ginny!_"

(Backstage, everyone goes, "_OOOOH! Ginny..."_)

_Hey I've been watching you _

_Every little thing you do _

_Every time I see you cast a spell _

_In my homeroom class makes my snitch flutter fast _

_I've tried to owl you twice _

_But I've seen you roll your eyes _

_Wish I could make it real _

_But your lips are sealed, that is a big deal _

_'Cause I know you really want me _

_I hear your friends holler about me _

_So why you tryin'to do without me _

_When you caught me _

_Where you want me _

_(Hey Ginny) _

_I think you're fine _

_You really blow up my mind _

_Maybe someday, you and me can fly away _

_I just don't want Ron to know _

_I wanna be your Chosen One, _

_Hey Ginny _

_Gin you got me on my Firebolt _

_Beggin' please baby please _

_Got my best commentator on the Wireless saying _

_Hey Ginny, why do you do him this way? _

_Too far to fly around _

_So I'm gonna stand my ground _

_Gimme just a little bit of hope _

_With a smile or a glance, gimme one more chance _

_'Cause I know you really want me _

_I hear your friends talk about me _

_So why you tryin' to do without me _

_When you caught me _

_Where you want me _

_Hey Ginny _

_I think you're fine _

_You really blow up my mind _

_Maybe someday, you and me can fly away _

_I just don't want Ron to know _

_I wanna be your Chosen One, _

_Hey Ginny _

_I know you really want me _

_I hear your friends holler about me _

_So why you tryin' to do without me _

_When you caught me _

_Where you want me _

_You don't have to say forever _

_For us to stay together _

_So hear me when I say _

_Hey Ginny _

_Hey Ginny _

_I think you're fine _

_You literally blow up my mind _

_Maybe someday, you and me can fly away _

_I just don't want Ron to know _

_I wanna be your Chosen One, _

_Hey Ginny _

_(Repeat) _

_Hey, Hey Ginny _

_Hey Ginny _

"GO HARRY!" Ron wolf-whistled. Everyone was bumping Ginny's arm, and muttering, "He fancies her!" (**A/N:** DUHH... :P)

Harry walked backstage and gave Ginny a kiss on the cheek!

Everyone including... SNAPEY, said, "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!" while Rita Skeeter says, "Oh! Young Love! Stirring..."

Harry ran off backstage carrying Ginny despite his broken arm... Hey Harry, isn't your arm broken!

"Whoa... That was awkward. Okay, up next is our favorite MalFerret," Cedric laughed at his cleverness, "DRACO MALFOY!"

(All theSlytherin Girls Cheer like mad)

Draco stepped on stage and began to sing...

_I open my eyes_

_I try to see, but my vision's obscured _

_By the eye of Moody _

_I can't remember how_

_I can't remember why_

_I'm a ferret here at Hogwarts_

_And I can't stand the humilation_

_And I can't make Potter stop laughing_

_No I can't stand Potter's face_

_How could this happen to me?_

_I taunted as much as I can_

_Got no where to run_

_Except Crabbe's pants_

_Where it really stinks_

_I'm sick of this torture_

_I just wanna scream_

_How could this happen to me?_

_Everybody's laughing_

_I try to make a sound_

_But people only hear my squeaks_

_I'm slipping down Crabbe's pants_

_I'm hanging by his leg sleeve_

_I wanna turn back into myself _

_So I try and hold onto _

_A time when Pansy kissed me_

_And I can't explain why I'm a Ferret_

_And I can't turn myself back_

_No I can't..._

"Draco, you're weird. Don't sing that again," Cedric said blankly. The audience just stared at Malfoy as if he were dung on the ground.

"YOU PEOPLE ARE INSANE!" and Malfoy stormed off.

* * *

**A/N: Well, How Was That? I know this may not be that long as I anticipated, but here it is! Chappie four! Hope you liked it, and keep the reviews rollin'!**

**Lurves,**

Herm-Own-Ninny

_Next time, It's Cedric, Hermione, and Ron!_


	5. A Really Freaky Commercial Break

**Brief Commercial Breaks! (Some Commercials will be ones already read) **

**A/N:** It may be a while before I get the next few chapters up, so while you wait, here are some maybe humorous (or stupid?) commericals! (I almost forgottie: I don't own anything that has to do with Harry Potter. (or American Idol) :() 

OKAY: If you like my stories, pleeeze read _Digitally Reassured _and _Holly Potter and the Eye of the Snake _and _Yule Ball Misery: Conversations in the Bathroom! _Please? I really need reviews! 

Aaannnd... from now on, I answer reviews on my Profile Page, so if you all submitteda review, go to my profile page and look for a response to your review!

Lurves 2 u all,

**_Herm-Own-Ninny879_**

* * *

_Commercial Numero Uno:_

(Harry steps in with Cho and Ginny following him; the girls are trying to slap each other to see who could reach Harry first)

"Er... CAN'T YOU TWO STOP IT ALREADY? YOU ALREADY HUMILIATED HOGWARTS, YOU IDIOTS!" (Harry bellows)

(The girls pout and stop)

"Oookay, as I was saying, now, If you're in a love triangle, with two crazed girls, and yourself, who has no idea why he's here... Well, here are some steps to help you. To find even more steps, call 1-800-HALP!"

(Cho: What does he mean by _crazed girls?) _

(Ginny: Oh, shut up, Chang)

(Cho: You! _Butober pus._)

(Ginny: HOW DARE YOU! YOU'RE SUCH A SNOB!)

"Girls!GIRLS! STOP IT! YOU'RE CAUSING ME HORRIBLE AND UNSUITABLE PAIN!" (Harry)

(the girls stop)

"Well, step one: try and stay as far as you can away from them! For example..." (Harry runs out of the scene)

(Cho: HARRY! COME BACK LOVER BOY!)

(Ginny: HE'S MINE!)

(the girls run after him) (Ron the cameraman chases after them)

_meanwhile outside.._

"AAARRRGH!" (Harry)

"COME BACK LOVER BOY!" (Cho)

"HE'S MINE YOU BIMBO!" (Ginny)

"BUTOBER PUUSSSSS!" (Cho)

"SHUT THE HECK UP! WAH! MOMMY!" (Harry)

"This is getting good!" (Ron the Cameraman)

"(WORD CENSORED!)" (Ginny)

"SHUT UP! PLEEEZE STAY AWAY! C'MON! THERE'S ONLY ONE OF ME!" (Harry) "CHO! JUST GET YOUR CEDDY BOY INSTEAD!" (**A/N:** Ceddy BoyCedric Diggory)

"NEVER! YOU'RE THE ONLY BOY I'M THINKING OF!" (Cho)

"OKAY! STEP TWO TO A LOVE TRIANGLE: KEEP RUNNING UNTIL YOU HAVE A BEST FRIEND YOU CAN HIDE BEHIND!" (Harry runs behind Ron, the cameraman-)

(the girls tackle Ron and the screen goes blank)

-PLEASE STAND BY-TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES-PLEASE STAND BY-TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES-PLEASE STAND BY! _hp television _

* * *

_Commercial Numero Dos:_

(Harry, Ron, and Hermione step in)

"Hermione forced us to do this." (Ron)

"C'mon, Hermione, this is work for house elves!" (Harry)

"THAT'S EXACTLY WHY WE'RE HERE. Everyone, are you upset about House elf enslavement?"

(HP and RW: Uh, NO.)

"Oh shut your mouths! As I was saying before I was _rudely_ interrupted, for the past three years at Hogwarts and beyond, I have found out with some valuable info, that House Elves are being treated unfairly. To prove my cause, here are my two associates:"

(Harry) "Er... Yeah. In my second year..."

(Ron) "Hey, wasn't it in our fourth or maybe fifth?"

(Harry) "Shut up!"

(Hermione rolls her eyes angrily) "JUST GET ON WITH IT! Oh, never mind. Well, as WE were saying, I have seen many House-Elves being unpaid and beaten. If you agree with me that this should end, call 1-800-SPEW-FOR-U. SPEW, _Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare_ you can get a free SPEW badge and membership newsletter for only three sickles!"

(Harry) "Heheh... No ONE is going to join SPEW!"

(Ron) "I know, right?"

"OH WILL YOU TWO BE QUIET?" (Hermione)

(Harry and Ron) "What the-" (as Hermione gets fumed up; steam coming out of her ears)

(HP and RW) "Let's scram!" (the two boys run swiftly out screaming their heads off)

"GRR! WHILE I CHASE THEM, MY HOUSE-ELF REPRESENTATIVE, DOBBY, WILL TAKE CALLS! REMEMBER: 1-800-SPEW-FOR-U!"

(Dobby never steps in because of the horror)

(Dobby) "Dobby thinks no one will join SPEW."

_End Commercial Two_

* * *

_Commerical Number Three: (This one may sound familiar) _

(Mundungus Fletcher steps in holding a stolen golden cauldron)

"If you're a crook like me, you'll need some essentials! Okay, you people, first, you need a sly and catchy name, like my hot and fantastic name, Mundungus Fletcher!"

(Harry and Ron are backstage. "Rubbish. His name is RUBBISH. Actually, literally, some rubbish is mentioned in his name: Mun**dung**us! Heehehehehehhhhheee!" Harry whispered to Ron, who let out a shrill, but quiet, laugh.)

"Hey! Shut up back there!" (Harry and Ron are instantly quiet)

"Anyways, two, you need disguises, which my new and latest novel, _Crookery: An Essential Guide for Hot People like Me! _You can use disguises like this Inferius outfit, a Death Eater, Harry Potter-"

"HEY!" (Harry yells backstage)

"Er... Going on, thirdly, (if that is a word), you must have the agility of a bird. I, on the other hand, have the agility of a swift African Cheetah!"

(Harry: "Yeah, right...")

(Ron: "Dung has the agility of a tortoise..." the two boys snigger)

"OI! I said, shad-ap back there! Anyway... To learn more about being a crook, don't forget to buy my new book, _Crookery: An Essential Guide for Hot People Like Me!_ and if you all call in the next half-hour, you can recieve a free crook wardrobe featuring outfits of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, The Death Eaters, Inferi, Cornelius Fudge, Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, Simon Cowell, William Hung, and... Harry Potter!"

(Harry: "You're dead, DUNG!"

"Uh-oh..."

(Harry runs after Mundungus with a broom and Hermione's _Hogwarts, A History,_ and Ron follows with a beater's bat)

* * *

_Another Familiar Commercial:_

"Ar, do you people love my magical eye, and my stunning clawed leg?" (Moody steps in from the darkness)

(Hermione: Oh-My-God)

"SHUT UP, woman!" (Moody shrieks)

(Hermione: What-eva!)

(Harry: I have never ever heard you back-sass a teacher before...)

(Hermione: Shut up with a capital S)

(Harry: Fine!)

"SHUT UP BACKSTAGE!" (Moody roars)

"So anyways, If you love me, the mystical Moody, buy my new album, which is better than the _Goblet of Fire_ DVD, and worth your ten galleons!" (**A/N: I RESENT THAT!)**

(Harry: HEY! Daniel worked hard on that!)(**A/N:** DAN RADCLIFFE, I LOVE YOU!)

(Hermione: So did Emma!)

(Ron steps inRon: AND RUPERT!)

"Like you all did better in the book." (Moody says sarcastically)

(Harry: CURSE YOU!)

"GRR... Well, If you love my growls and grunts, buy my new album..." (holds up a c.d with his disfigured and grotesque face on the front cover) "_Everyone's Out to Get Me!_"

(Harry: Literally)

(Hermione: Right-o)

(Neville: steps in I'm with you)

"SHUT UP! Grr... It features my platinum hits, _Everyone is out to Get Me,_ _Magical Eye Symphony, Keep Both Buttocks On, _and,_ If you Impersonate Me, I'll Make Sure It's the Last Thing You Do_!"

(Harry and Ron and Hermione and Neville: sniggers Do _what?_)

"HEY! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A K+ STORY!" (Moody growls)

"GRR... So anyways, if you want to buy my platinum-hit C.D, all you need to pay is ten galleons, plus Owl Shipping and Handling, which costs another Ten Galleons!"

(Harry: That's a Rip-Off!)

(Hermione: For once, I agree with Harry!)

"SHUT YOUR MOUTHS! Well, If you call 1-800-MOODY-IS-HOT, you get a free plush doll of me that literally sings _Everyone is Out to Get Me!_"

(The kids snigger)

"And Don't Forget... CONSTANT VIGILANCE! Moody-OUT!"

(Moody chases after the Trio and Neville with a beater's bat)

* * *

_Final Commercial:_

"LA LA LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" (Cedric steps in after that really stupid sound)

"Hello fans of Hogwarts Idol! If you're a fan of MOI, or HARRY, or GINNY, or that stupid MALFERRET, buy the new _Hogwarts Idol: Songs of the Stars!" _(Harry steps in)

"Er... Yeah, what he said!"

"Oh, shut the heck up," (Cedric)

"You!" (Harry)

"I said it first, Potter!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"This is the thanks I get for telling you to put the egg underwater?"

"Yes. Quite simple, no?"

"You're so stupid, you know, Potter."

"Oh shut up and get on with your American Idol whatsa-thingy already!" (Harry)

"Okay. As I was saying, this CD features the songs from your favorite singers!"

(Ced shows the back of the CD box)

_1. Cedric Diggory: _(I won't put what he's singing yet... ;))

_2. Harry Potter: Hey Ginny!_

_3. Ginevra (Ginny) Weasley: I Wanna Beat Cho (Chang) _

_4. Cho Chang: _(Not TELLING!)

_5. Draco Malfoy: The Untitled Ferret Song_

_6. Hermione Granger: _(I will only say what she's singing) _Quidditch Boi_

_7. Parvati Patil: _(Not Telling)

_8. Ronald (Ron) Weasley: _(Not Telling)

"And this CD only has _selected_ songs! SO, if you wanna hear your favorite singers, buy the new CD... _Hogwarts Idol: Songs of the Stars!_ and if you buy today, you can get a free signatured picture of the contestants!" (Ced)

(Harry) "Oh God, _bribery._"

(Ced) "Oh, I said, SHUT UP!"

(Harry) "Whatevah!"

(Ced) "Don't go Hermione on me!"

"Whatevha!"

(Ced) "You said it wrong!"

"Whatevah!"

(Ced) "OH MY GOD SHUT THE HECK UP!"

(Harry) "hehehehe... This is FUN! Whatevah!"

(Ced) "GRRRRRR... MUST... TRY... TO... IGNORE. Okay, if you wanna buy the CD, call 1-800-'WE-Heart-HARRY'. WHAT! _WE HEART HARRY? _You're dead, Potter!"

(Cedric runs after Harry with a Triwizard Cup/Trophy/Goblet thingy!)

_End Commercials_

* * *

"Aaaannnddd... Now we're back with HOGWARTS IDOL!" 


	6. Hermione, Ron, Cedric, Cho and the Twins

**Hogwarts Idol: LET THE FINALS BEGIN **

BY Herm-Own-Ninny879

**This is the Chapter you all have been waiting for! **WARNING: The following chapters will contain as follows:

1. Horrible comments from your favorite slimeball, SEVERUS SNAPE!

2. More Catfights from Cho and Ginny

3. Snogging! SNOGGING! SNOOOOOGGGINNG!

4. Draco Malfoy and his Ferrety Songs!

5. SURPRISE GUESTS!

6. **LESS** VERY, VERY STUPID COMMERCIALS

7. Appearances from me, the AUTHOR!

8. Stupid Wannabe Lockhart!

9. Tonks will be making piggy noses!

10. THE WINNER OF HOGWARTS IDOL!

11. Hahaha, there's no number elven!

12. Coming soon, only from Herm-Own-Ninny, _Dancing With the Gryffindors! _(It's a maybe)

13. MORE RON/HERMIONE AND HARRY/GINNY!

14. This story takes place in about Sixth/Seventh Year!

15. CHEATING! CHEATING!

16. Luna and Neville won't sing!

-that's all for now, folks! BE WARNED! ;)

_**Herm-Own-Ninny**_

* * *

Cedric trooped on stage to wild and enthusiastic applause from the carazay audience. 

"WELCOME BACK TO... _Hogwarts Idol! _Now, after those crazy and freakishly stupid commercials, we're back! Now, the girl you all love, HERMIONE GRANGER!"

Hermione danced onstage to applause as loud as the music started to play. She put the mic to her mouth and said... "_This one's called... QUIDDITCH BOI!_"

_He was a wizard, and she was a witch_

_Can I make it any more obvious?_

_He was an idiot, she liked to study _

_What more can I say? _

_He wanted her, she'd never say, secretly she wanted him as well_

_But all of her mates, stuck up their wands, _

_they had a problem with his attitude_

_He was a Quidditch Boy, she said 'I really hate you' Boy_

_He wasn't smart enough for her_

_She had a pretty face but her face was up in a book_

_She needed to pop into reality..._

_Two years from now, she sits in her dorm_

_reading dusty old volumes_

_She walks into the common room, guess who she sees?_

_Ronald and Lavender Sno-oging _

_She owls all her friends, they already know_

_They all knew that they were dating now_

_She spies on them, with all her mates_

_looks at the man that she turned down..._

_He was a Quidditch Boy, she said 'I really hate you boy' _

_He wasn't smart enough for her_

_Now he's a Quidditch Star, snogging with Lavender_

_Does her smarty butt see what he's worth... _(Hermione looks at Ron with anger in her eyes. Ron reaaaaallly looks sulky now!)

_Sorry me, but I missed out_

_Well, tough luck that boy's Lav's now_

_They are more than just good friends_

_This is how my story ends_

_Too bad that I couldn't see, see the prat that boy could be_

_There is more than meets the eye_

_I see the pain that's comin' by_

_He's just a Wiz, and I'm just a Witch_

_Can I make it anymore obvious...? _

_We are now in love haven't ya'll heard, how I rock his world?_

_I'm now with the Quidditch Boy, He said see you later Lav_

_Lav wasn't good enough for him_

_I'll be in the common room_

_reading the love notes you wrote_

_all to me_

_I'm with the Quidditch Boy, He said see you later Lav_

_Lav wasn't good enough for him_

_I'll be in the common Room_

_reading the love notes you wrote..._

_...all for me..._

Hermione ended with appaluse as loud as a cannon, or even louder. Hermione walked backstage, and she started to cry. Lavender, the helper with the makeup, glared angrily at her.

"Hermione... I...I never ever knew... I'm sorry..." Ron looked upset at himself. He gave her a hug and... SNOGGED HER. Lavender dropped the expensive mirror she was holding, and it shattered into a million pieces.

When they tore apart, they found out that they were on the big-screen onstage. All the girls gaped and all the boys in the audience looked angry. To stop any further rebellions, Cedric ran on and announced the next singer.

"THAT WAS HERMIONE GRANGER! Now, up next, is her... _boyfriend,_ RONALD WEASLEY!"

Ron went onstage with a supernova of applause and wolf-whistles. Harry and Hermione gave him thumbs-up...

"Er... This one's called, _Almost Had You_!"

The music began to play...

_I almost got jealous of you at 14_

_Where I almost got a snog from Fleur Delacour_

_Who almost went out with Roger Davies_

_But then married my brother_

_I almost got killed by Sirius Black_

_Where I was almost famous for almost a day_

_and I almost had you_

_But I guess that doesn't cut it_

_You almost loved me_

_I almost wished you would've loved me lots_

_I almost played as Keeper _

_During a Quidditch Game_

_But I got poisoned by Voldemort _

_Who really really hates my best mate_

_That I almost got beat up cuz you ran away_

_And I wish I woulda have the nerve to ask you to go out with me_

_And I almost had you_

_but I guess that doesn't cut it_

_Almost loved you_

_I almost wished you would've loved me lots_

_You kept me waiting and now I'm saying _

_I've spent my time secretly lovin' you_

_I almost wished you would've loved me lots_

Hermione stared open-mouthed at Ron as he finished his song.

"Wow." she simply said.

"Yes, wow." he responded simply.

"Snog?" Hermione said simply.

"Yes." Ron responded simply, and they went somewhere (**A/N: **I don't know where that place was) to snog for a while.

Cedric came back onstage, walking backwards as he watched Ron and Hermione walk away. He kept watching them until he fell off the stage and fell against the camera and the cameraman two feet below near the audience. At least no one got hurt...well everyone except for Cedric, the camera, and the Cameradude.

* * *

technicaldiffficultiestechincaldifficulties! please stand by! please stand by!

* * *

Harry stepped on stage as Cedric, the camera, and the cameraman were being treated by mediwizards and computer buffs. 

"Er... Since we had that disastrous incident, I, Harry Potter will be your host for the remainder of this episode. Now, Parvati Patil was supposed to be next, but she had to go on emergency leave, and Cedric was supposed to be next, but, yeah, he got injured, Ron, Hermione, me, Ginny, and some other people (Draco: HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME?) sang so here's... CHO CHANG!

Cho stepped on stage to completely uneccessary loud and rowdy cheers from the boys.

"Hello, boys," she fluttered her eyelashes which made the boys swoon with delight. "My song is called _All About Me._"

"She's obsessed with herself," Harry rolled his eyes.

She began...

_On a Monday, I am waiting _

_Tuesday, I am fading _

_Wednesday, you ignore me _

_Then the owl comes, you mail me _

_And the darkness is a perfect view _

_'Cuz you've come to snog me _

_Snog... I snog with you so long _

_I can hardly say a word; I hope you never stop... _

_Ohhh _

_It seems like I can finally date someone perfect _

_I love the way you kiss me _

_Ohhh _

_It's as if you know all, all, all about me, _

_I love how you know, _

_All about me, _

_All about me, _

_All about me _

_I am pretty, prissy _

_I get beautiful, and it's retarded _

_How you can't always snog me _

_When I'm crying you hug me _

_Making me happy is your mission _

_And you won't stop until I'm giddy _

_Snog... I snog with you so long _

_When I'm crying, BASH! _

_I love you so mad... _

_Ohhh... _

_It seems like I can finally date someone perfect _

_I love the way you kiss me _

_Ohhh _

_It's as if you know all, all, all about me _

_I love how you know _

_The way I feel, the way I feel, _

_The way I feel, _

_All about me, all about me... All about me _

_How do you know I want to snog you? _

_Am I that obvious? _

_And if it's written on my wand _

_I hope you never leave me _

_Yeah! _

_On a Monday, I am waiting, _

_Tuesday, you finally snog me _

_And I can't breathe... _

_Ohhh _

_It seems like I can finally date someone perfect _

_I love the way you kiss me _

_Ohhh _

_It's as if you know all, all, all about me, _

_I love how you know, _

_All about me, _

_All about me, _

_All about me..._

Half of the crowd of boys fainted, and their girlfriends nearly tried to strangle Cho, but Crabbe and Goyle stopped them with a freezing spell. (**A/N: **Wow! I didn't know that they could do that! LOL!) Cho laughed maniacally, and went backstage. Cedric nearly fainted as his shoulder brushed past Cho's.

"Now, after the last few performances of the day, the judges will finally tell their comments! Now let's reintroduce them! First is the pretty and vivacious Tonks!"

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

"Next, the ever 'corking' prettyboy, Lockhart!"

(complete silence)

"Finally, nasty and ugly Snape!"

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

"They don't know what they're talking about," Snape muttered to Lockhart.

"Now, on with the rest of the show! Next up is...ME! CEDRIC DIGGORY!"

"YAY! FINALLY!" the crowd screamed. Cedric grinned and took out the mircrophone, and the music began...

_Everything makes sense to me_

_And it won't go quietly_

_Everything makes sense to me_

_And I won't sit patiently_

_I'm gonna chase Cho and catch up to her_

_I'm gonna love you some how, some way, somewhere some day_

_Last day of the rest of my life, Voldemort killed me_

_Last time I kissed you in the dark, Voldemort killed me_

_Last day of the rest of my life, I want you already_

_Last time I saw the green lights flashing, I'm dead already_

_I don't wanna live the rest of my life in horror_

_Where's life taking me_

_I don't wanna die alone_

_Without you_

_I'm gonna chase Cho and catch up to her_

_I'm gonna love you some how, some way, somewhere some day_

_Last day of the rest of my life, Voldemort killed me_

_Last time I kissed you in the dark, Voldemort killed me_

_Last day of the rest of my life, I want you already_

_Last time I saw the green lights flashing, I'm dead already_

_I wanna finish my life_

_I wanna win the Tournament_

_But most of all, I wanna love you lots_

_Last day of the rest of my life, Voldemort killed me_

_Last time I kissed you in the dark, Voldemort killed me_

_Last day of the rest of my life, I want you already_

_Last time I saw the green lights flashing, I'm dead already_

The crowd screamed as Cedric finished. "Thank you!"

"WE LOVE YOU CEDRIC!" the three girls from the first chapter squealed again. Cho went up to them and bashed their heads.

"You're amazing, Cho," Cedric crooned as he pulled her up to him.

"I love you, Cedric," Cho whispered, and they SNOGGED.

_Later..._

"Er... Sorry about that, everyone. I-I was busy. Now, we have... FRED AND GEORGE! THE LAST OF THE DAY, AND THEN THE JUDGES' COMMENTS!"

The Weasley Twins went on stage, and began to sing...

_Just give me my Gringott's card_

_I hope I haven't overused my owl_

_With mailing rates so expensive_

_No need to shout and pout,_

_I sometimes think that girls are from Mars now_

_I'll get to them somehow..._

_All I wanna do is please you_

_Please myself but play keeper too..._

_And all those mistakes I have_

_Have a big reflection on how I feel about you_

_How I feel about..._

_All those mistakes I did have a big reflection on..._

_How I feel about you, yeah_

_Oh yes I recall,_

_Skipping breakfast to practice Quidditch_

_Then feeling lightheaded_

_Sometimes you act like McGonagall_

_You scent is sweet like a rose_

_I'd love to study and get smart with you_

_All I wanna do is please you_

_Please myself but play keeper too..._

_And all those mistakes I have_

_Have a big reflection on how I feel about you_

_How I feel about..._

_All those mistakes I did have a big reflection on..._

_How I feel about you, yeah_

_And all those mistakes I have_

_Have a big reflection on how I feel about you_

_How I feel about..._

_All those mistakes I did have a big reflection on..._

_How we feel about you, yeah..._

"THANK YOU!" Fred and George laughed as they set off the 'POO' fireworks again. The crowd burst into laughs, and the Twins stepped off-stage.

"Now... What you all have been waiting for... THE JUDGE COMMENTS!"

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED! 


End file.
